can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
