what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
