so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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