i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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