this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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