Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
