dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Life is so much better after having sex.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
