Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
