took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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