dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
