halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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