Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
