bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
