and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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