ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
