You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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