you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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