He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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