Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
