my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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