everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
