so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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