just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
