did you get engaged???
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
