Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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