I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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