The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
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