And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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