i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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