the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
