Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Come see our sink grown plant.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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