eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
