That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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