Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
