we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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