we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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