Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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