hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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