@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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