Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
