my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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