nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
