She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
