Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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