it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
