am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
