this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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