Christians are straight up FREAKS
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
