She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
