whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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