I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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