no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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