I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
